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Forwards Backwards
Forwards Backwards, is the 5th episode of season 4 and the 68th episdoe overall on Malcolm in the Middle. It was directed by Levie Issacks and witten by Maggie Bandur. The episode premiered on Fox in December 1, 2002. Plot Days before Malcolm's birthday, he and Reese pull increasingly severe pranks against each other. Flashbacks throughout the episode gradually reveal how their feud began and reached the breaking point when Malcolm ate a blueberry Reese was saving. Meanwhile, Francis encounters a "devil cow" at the ranch and discovers it's just an ordinary cow long overdue for milking. Dewey worries about his role as Abraham Lincoln in the school play. Hal enlists Craig to help him find Malcolm a birthday present, but is driven nuts by his constant demands. Synopsis With Malcolm's birthday approaching, he has been socking away money in book-type safe to buy Stevie's old laptop computer from Abe. However, he and Reese are currently locked in an escalating war of pranks and abuses. Malcolm duct tapes Reese's entire head, while he was screaming for help due to struggling with the Barbell. He retaliates by beating Malcolm senseless, which Lois diffuses. While removing the duct tape out of Reese's head, she loudly reprimands both boys for their behavior again. Lois reminds Malcolm that despite his birthday is coming soon, she warns him and Reese to behave themselves at once if they want to avoid the inevitable dual grounding. Ignoring her warning against continuing the prank war, he is determined to outduel Reese and let him get grounded. Despite Malcolm's request for money instead of presents, Hal wishes to buy him an actual birthday gift anyway. Knowing his son's affinity for comic books, Hal asks for assistance in the comic book shop. Unfortunately, the owner, Dean, is rude and refuses to help him because he's not a comic book fan. He even goes as far as insulting Hal by pointing out his short business dress casual shirt, slacks, tie and dress shoes. Dean and his pals, Ricky and Bob orders him to leave so they can help an actual comic book customer. Dewey asks for Lois' help in creating a costume for his role as Abraham Lincoln. He is worried that she and Hal may avoid attending his class events. Dewey knows this because each time he tells them about a class event he has at his school, Hal and Lois always avoids going there by coming up with some poor excuse. This in turn will end in his disappointment like it always does. Lois promises that they will attend this time as long as his older brothers behave and not continue their prank war. She even makes her point across by yelling at Malcolm and Reese to behave as they head off to school. Lois tells Dewey if he feels nervous on the stage, just imagine a set of parents to cheer him on and gives him a spare hat that she made just in case he feels the need to throw up. That night, Lois asks Hal how his trip to the comic book store went. He admits it didn't go very well since Dean was very rude to him and exposed him for not being a comic book fan. Hal tells Lois that they know they've been trying to avoid asking Craig for help, but they know it's not avoidable. She mentions that they can't ask for his help, knowing he'd be asking for a favor from them again. Lois reminds Hal that the last time they asked for Craig's help, he didn't stop pestering them for a month until they allowed him to attend the family's barbeque. Hence, this is why they had to lie to him about cancelling the BBQ and changing it to a new location just to avoid being around him. Hal stops Lois and tells her that they can't avoid asking for Craig's help forever. The longer that they continue trying to avoid doing so, the worse it'll be for him to get Malcolm a birthday gift. Despite Lois' admonition against asking for Craig's help, Hal decides to do so anyway. The next day, Craig visits the home and he asks for help to negotiate at the comic book store since he and Dean are enemies. He originally refuses to help Hal out due to the anger and resentment he felt for both him and Lois. Craig reminds him of all the times that he came to the family's aid when they "needed" him, albeit for meager tasks that only he can handle. When the time comes for Hal and Lois to repay him back by returning the favor in helping him out, they always renege their deal by coming up with some poor excuse to avoid him. He promises that they will pay Craig back in full if he agrees to help him out with the negotiations at the comic book store. He agrees to help out this time, but it comes with a price. Craig demands that Hal drives him around the whole day by going to the beach, taking him to the carnival, buying him: his favorite foods, going to the comic book convention in town, etc. At school, Malcolm superglues Reese's forearm to forehead. A flashback shows him wet, angered and covered in a towel walking in the living room with a fire extinguisher on hand. Sticking a the hose in Malcolm's pants, Reese sprays foam in them and causing him to fall down. Later on, Reese retaliates by posting his embarrassing "potty training" pictures on school lockers. Another flashback shows an angry Malcolm with his mouth covered in toothpaste blowing an annoying sound on the airhorn and causing Reese to fall in the shower. He publicly humiliates Reese for hanging out with "friends" who don't even know your name. In another flashback, a dirty and muddy Reese puts meat in the toothpaste. Malcolm uses it and is disgusted by the taste of it and throws up in the sink. After spending a day of driving him around, Hal is annoyed by this believing his actions was out of revenge over how the Wilkersons treated him. Finally losing his patience with Craig, he accuses him for stalling the trip to the store by making him chauffer him around town. Hal claims that he's doing this intentionally out of revenge against him and Lois for reneging their deal over the years. Craig tells him off that he can't negotiate with Dean unless he is at full strength. Hal doesn't believe him and insults him inside the car. He demands that Craig stops wasting his time and demands they go to the comic book store immediately. He is offended and demands that Hal takes him home at once. He pulls over at Craig's house and tries to apologize for his actions. He soundly rejects the apology, stating that Hal was rude and impatient with him while he was trying to gather strength to be able to negotiate with Dean. Since he is impatient and would rather do things his own way, Craig tells Hal off that he would have to learn to negotiate with Dean on his own. He calls off the deal and leaves the car with his things to his house. At the Grotto Ranch, a series of ghoulish discoveries (slaughtered chickens and a flattened antelope, for starters) prompt Otto to recount the local legend of the mythical "devil cow," a marauding bovine who occasionally comes down from her mountain lair to cause mayhem. Francis isn't buying into the supernatural aspects of the tale, however, taking up a shotgun to fend off the beast. In the boys' bedroom, Malcolm tells Stevie that Reese deserved that humiliation and thinks he has a clear path to one up him. Stevie attempts to voice his concerns over his recent behavior. He mentions that Malcolm should be concerned over how Lois will react over this, since he is on thin ice with her. He tries to reassure Stevie that things will work out well and that Reese will know better not to mess with him on his birthday. He notices a letter from Ida and it reveals a $5 Canadian for his birthday. Not too bad for someone who hates him and his family the way she does. Malcolm's happiness is shattered when he opens the book safe and finds a letter from Reese informing him that he had stolen all of his birthday money in retaliation for humiliating him in front of the school. Infuriated, he goes after Reese in revenge as Stevie chases after him and warns that the police will arrest him and he'd be tried as an adult. A flashback shows Malcolm vacuuming dirt out of the fireplace and grounded by Lois for an unspecified punishment. Reese appears grabbing his baseball, bat and glove to play with his classmates. When he attempts to put his baseball hat on, he is covered in dirt and Malcolm gives him a smug smile. At the comic book store, Hal again attempts to try his luck and finally persuades Dean to help him. However before he can sell him a mark up of a bad comic book of Deadman's Shoes, Craig shows up to save the day, much to Hal's shock. Dean is displeased and tells him to go away because the deal doesn't concern him at all. Ricky and Bob immediately recognize Craig right away due to them playing Dungeon Master all the time. He refuses Dean's request to leave and states the deal does concern him. Craig immediately confronts him for his actions for attempting to sell Hal a bad comic book. He points out to Dean by revealing that he has one like it framed in his bathroom, but he never reads it(except when it was made) and has checked the Overstreet with 50,000 returns from the comic book store. Craig accuses him of turning the comic book store he owns into a novelty shop. Dean attempts to sell Hal a 'rare' Spider Man comic book about his first fight with the Green Goblin, hoping he could take advantage of his naiveite. However, Craig isn't fooled by his attempt and saves Hal once more by tossing soda on the comic book. When Ricky asks him what he's doing, Craig reveals it was a 1993 reprint of Spider Man's first fight with the Green Goblin because he had seen the advertisement on the back of the Marvel cards of that year. He mentions that he knew it was a fake the moment that Dean foolishly took it out of the plastic cover. Craig reveals it was a serious faux pas on his part because this is something a real collector, a comic book store owner and his employees would never had done. He also points out that if it had been an original, Hal would've protected the comic book from getting wet and had bought it with his money. With that, Dean's lack of knowledge in comic book values is exposed to Ricky and Bob. The two men are betrayed by him for lying to them all this time. Craig is able to force Dean into negotiations for a better and rare comic book. Hal is grateful to Craig for saving him from buying a bad comic book and getting him something that Malcolm will like. When he offers an activity that Hal may like to go do with him, he refuses and promises Craig they can do it another time. He has to return home and pick Lois up so they can go to Dewey's class event on time. Craig understands Hal's plight and promise to honor it another time. At the Family Fun Center Amusement Park after losing his money, Malcolm decides he has nothing to lose and intentionally crashes his go-kart into Reese's own and causing him to spin out of control. The PA announcer orders him to return to the pit area to face proper punishment. Malcolm ignores him and yells at Reese for ruining his birthday by stealing his money that he had been planning to use to buy Stevie's old computer. He responds by this is what he deserves for the humiliation in front of the school and ends it by tossing a quarter on the track, telling him to keep the change. The PA announcer orders Reese to show some courtesy and also return to the pit area. Both he and Malcom ignore him and decides to finish off the fight. Their fighting culminates into a game of chicken, which ends with the two wiping each other out. A flashback occurs with Malcolm washing dishes. An angry Reese gives him a wet willie in revenge. At the house, Hal and Lois are furious with Malcolm and Reese after they picked them up at the hospital. The two boys walk in injured and covered in casts. Malcolm has a bruise and a broken arm. Reese has the worst of the injuries because he's having a hard time walking normally and has to walk like a penguin, due to his body being in a cast. Lois tells both Malcolm and Reese off that she wishes the doctors had sewn furs and tails on them because they're perfect examples of animals. Only to her, animals are easier because then she could have their behavior's fixed. Hal agrees and blames Malcolm and Reese for misbehaving again. He informs the boys that they're both grounded again. Malcolm on his birthday for escalating the fight and Reese for being a jerk in presumably starting the fight. As the boys argue amongst themselves and blame each other for getting them grounded, Lois silences them. She asks Malcolm and Reese what they've previously done on their birthdays. When they reveal that they've done nothing to celebrate it with Reese admitting that he got grounded last year after she caught him smashing Malcolm's face in the cake, she calls them out for it. Lois points out that it's the reason neither Malcolm and Reese have been able to enjoy their respective birthdays. She finds it sad that they always ruin their special days because they kept fighting and pulling pranks on each other. In turn, it always ends with Lois having to ground both Malcolm and Reese for it. She begs the older boys to let up their rivalry soon as they going to be adults soon and that only thing they're going to remember on their birthdays is how miserable it was to be grounded when they should've been celebrating it. Lois mentions that Malcolm and Reese shouldn't be fighting since they love the to the same way. Malcolm however says that it's actually not that at all. They couldn't really care less who is most loved by their parents. Malcolm also points out that he and Reese despises each other too much to care about Lois' opinions. She realizes just how little they both care for their respective birthdays and decides to stop celebrating them. Therefore in addition to their grounding, she adds a few months worth of household chores to continue punishing them to the bone. Hal tells both Malcolm and Reese off that he hopes they're proud of themselves for their latest fighting induced grounding. He points out that he and Lois are both disappointed in them for ruining everything for them. Hal mentions that they had better places to be than at home and dealing with the two boys. He tells Malcolm and Reese off that the fighting wasn't worth being grounded in the end. Because of them, the Wilkersons got another lifetime ban from a public place. This time it's at Family Fun Center Amusement Park for the damages they've done on two of their go-karts and incurring further medical expenses, which both parents have to pay for and putting the family further in financial debt. Adding insult to everything that Malcolm and Reese has done, they made Hal and Lois miss out on Dewey's class event as Abraham Lincoln which they were looking forward to seeing. Despite this, Malcolm and Reese are apathetic towards him. Since they have a mutual hatred for Dewey, they don't care about how hurt he will be with Hal and Lois missing out on his class event. To Malcolm and Reese, it was worth it and losing their respective birthdays over. They are just happy with the negative attention that Hal and Lois gave them. On the day of his class event, Dewey is finally to take the stage, expecting his parents in the front row. He is disappointed when he sees two empty seats. Taking Lois' advice for whenever Dewey gets disappointed and fantasizing an imaginary set of parents, the little guy delivers an impressive operatic musical delivery of the Gettysburg Address which reduces most of the auditorium to tears. On one stormy night, Otto is afraid, but Francis soon discovers that there is no devil cow. It was Betsy, an ordinary cow that was behind the whole thing because her udders have been full with milk and it was causing her pain. Francis sits down on a stool, puts a bucket under her udders and helpfully milks her. He understands how much in pain Betsy was in for the neglect. She moos in agreement and is finally relieved over being milked. This not only saves the day for the Grotto Ranch, but also brings an end the legend. The next day, Dewey is seen playing a game from the Gameboy Advance. He isn't bought off yet because he's still mad at Hal and Lois for not attending. The two are remorseful for hurting Dewey's feelings and apologizes for missing his class event. Lois mentions that she and Hal didn't want to miss out on his performance. Unfortunately, they were forced to do so because they had to deal with Malcolm and Reese again. Hal agrees and reveals that they had to ground the two boys for their latest misbehavior. Malcolm and Reese's latest infraction got their family banned from another public place and incurring further medical expenses. Hal offers Dewey a rare comic book that Craig originally got for Malcolm. He tells Hal and Lois that he's slowly getting over it as they offer him the other gifts as well. As he's leaving, Dewey wishes Malcolm a happy birthday. He sadly thanks Dewey as he and Reese are seen cleaning the kitchen floor with toothbrushes. In that moment, Malcolm is finally remorseful over how badly he behaved by escalating the fighting and making it worse. In the last flashback, it is revealed that he started the prank war with Reese. Before leaving to get a refill of orange juice, he tells Malcolm not to eat the last blueberry on his plate because he is saving it for later. He ignores Reese's request to leave it alone and eats the blueberry. Cast *Jane Kaczmerek as Lois *Bryan Cranston as Hal *Christopher Kennedy Masterson as Francis *Justin Berfield as Reese *Erik Per Sullivan as Dewey *Frankie Muniz as Malcolm Guest Stars Recurring *David Anthony Higgins as Craig *Craig Lamar Traylor as Stevie *Kenneth Mars as Otto Cameos *Tim Sharp as Dean *Trieu Tran as Bob *Marquis Scott as Ricky *Oscar Nunez as Ranch Hand *Angie Hughes as Female Guest *Kevin Dunigan as Male Guest *Bonnie Burroughs as Pretend Mom *Matt Hannigan as Pretend Dad *Jonny Acker as High School Kid(uncredited) Trivia *The complete sequence of events in the escalating feud between Malcolm and Reese is as follows: **1) Malcolm started the feud by eating a blueberry off Reese's plate **2) Reese gives Malcolm a wet willie **3) Malcolm fills Reese's cap with dirt **4) Reese puts raw meat in Malcolm's toothpaste **5) Malcolm blows an air horn at Reese while showering **6) Reese shoots a fire extinguisher into Malcolm's shorts **7) Malcolm covers Reese's head with tape **8) Reese beats Malcolm up **9) Malcolm glues Reese's arm to his forehead **10) Reese distributes Malcolm's baby picture all over school **11) Malcolm shows Reese up before the popular kids **12) Reese steals Malcolm's money **13) Malcolm and Reese play chicken in go-karts and wipe each other out **14) Results end in the same way with Hal and Lois grounding the boys again. *There was a Game Boy advance seen with Dewey playing it. *Jonny Acker makes his first recurring appearance on the show as a high school student whom Reese claims to be friends with but isn't. He would later play Ira, Reese's bully and Billy's older brother *This is the third time that the Wilkerson family earned a lifetime ban from a public place. This time it's at a Family Fun Center Amusement Park when the boys caused extensive damages on two of their go-karts. The first time was in Traffic Jam and the 2nd time was in Dinner Out. Coincidentally, it would be the last time they were banned on screen. **In Buseys Run Away, the family would be banned again, this time off screen from a movie theater from a prank gone wrong. *This episode marks the only time that Hal and Lois show regret at missing Dewey's class function. *This is Maggie Bandur's first solo writing credits. She had previously been credited alongside her co-writer, Pang-Ni Landrum. *This is Betsy the Cow's first appearance on this show. She returns in Victor's Other Family, revealed in having a relationship with an amorous horse named Thunder. *The kart racing scenes were filmed at the Mountasia Family Fun Center in Santa Clarita. Quotes :Craig:(pushing the doors open in a heroic fashion) Not so fast! :Dean: This transaction does not concern you, Feldspar. :Bob: That's Craig Feldspar, he's a level 45 Dungeon Master. :Craig:(confronting Dean for attempting to sell Hal a $50 mark up of a bad comic book) What cereal box did you shake this out of, Dean? :Dean: It's the first print, totally collectible. :Craig: Oh, should we check the Overstreet? Wait, we don't have to! 1997: First and only printing. 50,000 returns all in circulation. I keep this in my bathroom, but not for reading. This isn't a comic book store, it's a novelty shop! :attempts to sell Hal a "rare" comic book of Spider-Man fighting the Green Goblin by taking it out of it's plastic covering. Craig isn't buying it and spills soda on it. :Ricky: What are you doing? :Craig: Fear not, it was only a 1993 reprint. If that had been an original, he would've thrown himself at it. :Ricky:and Bob are now betrayed by Dean after hearing Craig out Dude, you told me that was real. :Craig: Now, lets talk business! ---- :furious Hal and Lois are forced to miss Dewey's play by having to pick up an injured Reese and Malcolm from the hospital. :Lois: I should've told the doctor to sew furs and tails on you boys because you're animals! Only animals are easier because then I can have you FIXED! :Hal: For all the good it does, you're grounded again. :Malcolm: Thanks a lot for getting me grounded on my birthday! :Reese: Oh boo hoo, I was grounded on my birthday! :overhears this and is much angrier :Malcolm: I was just standing up for myself! There is such a thing as justice, you know?! :Reese: Well, there is such a thing as "Shut up"-! :Lois: Stop it! Malcolm, do you remember what you did for your birthday last year? :Malcolm: Nothing. I was grounded then, too. :Lois:(to Reese) And what about your birthday? :Reese: You grounded me after I smashed Malcolm's face into the cake. :Lois: And your birthday before that? :Malcolm: Pretty much this. :Reese: (to Malcolm) Wait. When did you push me off the pony? ---- :Hal: All right, two scoops, fudge ripple. Now are we going to the comic book store? :Craig: (imitating Yoda) Patience, Luke. You are reckless. :Hal: We've gone to he beach, we've gone to the movies. I won you an animal at the church bazaar. We've gone out for coffee, lunch, Slushees, pie. :Craig: I can't negotiate unless I'm firing on all cylinders. :Hal: Just how many cylinders do you have? ---- :flashback, at the dinner table. :Reese:[getting up, but leave hs plate with a blueberry on it.] Don't eat that blueberry, I'm saving it. :Malcolm:[ignores Reese and eats the blueberry off his plate] What's the worst that could happen? ---- :has just bumped Reese's go-kart, causing him to go out of control and spin to the side of the road. He stops feet in front of Reese :Announcer: Car #15, no bumping. Return to the pit area. :Reese: What the hell are you doing? :Malcolm: You had no right. You stole from me. That was my money. :Reese: Fine. Let's see (finds a quarter and tosses it out in the middle of the race track) I've done 63 laps, keep the change. :Announcer: Car 8, let's be courteous. ---- :runs out of the room and chases after Reese for stealing his money that he had planned to use to buy Stevie's old laptop. :Stevie: They'll try you as an adult! Errors Category:Episodes Category:Episodes focusing on Malcolm Category:Episodes focusing on Reese Category:Season 4 Category:Birthday Episodes Category:Episodes focusing on Craig Category:Episodes focusing on Hal